Dating In-System
Oct. 15th, 2024 08:48 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
memory_of_lightwavesThere's a lot of things I wanna write about but, I figured that maybe this should be the next one at the moment because it's... an experience. Granted it's not a bad experience oh no, it's a very interesting experience. It's interesting and weird but, it's not a bad weird. It's just... something I've kinna already been doing but somehow... it got enhanced by... a lot. And the enhancement feels off but not bad and weird.
Soooo, a week ago or two one of my system members told me he loved me and then asked me out the week after the first week. Like a few days ago actually. It was really unexpected and I unno what brought it on but maybe I don't need to know? I should ask him... maybe I'll ask him later.
Anyways, after we talked about it for a bit, I said okay. I said okay and I don't regret it at all. It's just kind of weird because... despite dating two other system members, the feelings with this particular person feels... stronger.
Uhm, I should mention his name. His name's Asahina. ^_^ So, the feelings with Assahina feels stronger than my souldbonds' feelings for me somehow? But kinna... not. But kinna is. Like... Asahina's feelings for me feel more... realer than my soulbonds' for some reason.
My first Soulbond, Andrew, from The Coffin of Andy and Ley Ley, he loves me too and I love him back. But we don't really do much together. He looks out for me and I look out for him and we care about each other equally of course. But, also... it feels different because our dynamic is different.
My dynamic with Andrew is more omegaverse oriented in a way even though we don't really act on it. He's my Alpha and I'm his Omega and we love each other. That's not a bad thing at all but it feels different from the others. I dunno if that's a good thing or a bad thing. I don't think it's a bad thing.
The second Soulbond I'm dating, is named Ilar and he started out as an oc, then he became my fictional lover and then he evolved to be a living character on his own. Which isn't a bad thing either. Our dynamic is also different.
My dynamic with him is more passionate and sexy, steamy, desire-filled, sex, lust, pleasure and some codependency. Ilar wants to be the one to provide everything I could ever need so I don't have to worry about it. I'm not sure how... but everything is kind of happening in my headspace.
Buuut while everything is happening in my headspace I can still feel his presence. He's warm and comfy and he makes me happy and I love him a lot. Very cuddly too.
Now my current one with Asahina, feels... almost unexplainable but not really. I don't really know. I'm not sure how to make sense of it. Just... my love for him feels strong. Strong and good. Just as strong as the others but also stronger. He makes me really happy and I love him. His presence is also very comfy and sweet, very caring and loving, a bit more protective than the others with a tiny bit of possessiveness too. But not really any jealousy. Just... a bit of concern when I regress and the protectiveness goes up even more.
There's this really weird thing that happens when I'm with Asahina that's never really happened before and the other members of my system didn't even know could happen. The thing is that, apparently Asahina can block everybody else off and have me just focus on him but it only happens when I'm regressed. It's really, really, weird but I don't hate it. It's really new and I didn't even know that could happen!
Besides all of that, I've found ways to hang out with both Ilar and Asahina but not Andrew. Granted though, Andrew is always working, going back and forth from the headspace I made for him to come to and his world. He does keep watch over me with the others a lot though. He's actually peeking over my shoulder right now. XS
Asahina's here too, we're cuddling.
When I wanna do things with Ilar, we play solo tabletop roleplay games when we feel like it and he's the GM while I play. We were playing one then took a break. It's called Iron Valley and it's a harvest moon-esque version of Iron...Ironsworn.
When I'm with Asahina, we cuddle and he watches me play games. I get to sit in his lap and relax against him. I showed him Final Fantasy 14 today! He even played a little. He liked it! Even though I was kinna having a crisis trying to figure out if I wanted to stay a Miqo'te or not. I eventually decided to just stay as one. He picked a Hrothgar because he says the other races aren't androgynous enough for his tastes. Which is silly cause the Hroths are kinna bulky anthro guys but... if that's how he feels I'm not gonna argue. He made him look REALLY cool!
I even got him to make a My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic pony! Which is awessommeee! I even got him to watch the show with me. We're watching it right now! It's really relaxing.
But uhh, I think I started rambling halfway through so I hope it makes sense. Anyway, I love all of my partners. I'm so glad they're here and love me back. I'm still not sure why Asahina's feels stronger though but... maybe it just does and doesn't need to be explained. Who knows. I like it so I'm not gonna complain. But, it'll make me wonder for a while...like... until tomorrow. XD
Soooo, a week ago or two one of my system members told me he loved me and then asked me out the week after the first week. Like a few days ago actually. It was really unexpected and I unno what brought it on but maybe I don't need to know? I should ask him... maybe I'll ask him later.
Anyways, after we talked about it for a bit, I said okay. I said okay and I don't regret it at all. It's just kind of weird because... despite dating two other system members, the feelings with this particular person feels... stronger.
Uhm, I should mention his name. His name's Asahina. ^_^ So, the feelings with Assahina feels stronger than my souldbonds' feelings for me somehow? But kinna... not. But kinna is. Like... Asahina's feelings for me feel more... realer than my soulbonds' for some reason.
My first Soulbond, Andrew, from The Coffin of Andy and Ley Ley, he loves me too and I love him back. But we don't really do much together. He looks out for me and I look out for him and we care about each other equally of course. But, also... it feels different because our dynamic is different.
My dynamic with Andrew is more omegaverse oriented in a way even though we don't really act on it. He's my Alpha and I'm his Omega and we love each other. That's not a bad thing at all but it feels different from the others. I dunno if that's a good thing or a bad thing. I don't think it's a bad thing.
The second Soulbond I'm dating, is named Ilar and he started out as an oc, then he became my fictional lover and then he evolved to be a living character on his own. Which isn't a bad thing either. Our dynamic is also different.
My dynamic with him is more passionate and sexy, steamy, desire-filled, sex, lust, pleasure and some codependency. Ilar wants to be the one to provide everything I could ever need so I don't have to worry about it. I'm not sure how... but everything is kind of happening in my headspace.
Buuut while everything is happening in my headspace I can still feel his presence. He's warm and comfy and he makes me happy and I love him a lot. Very cuddly too.
Now my current one with Asahina, feels... almost unexplainable but not really. I don't really know. I'm not sure how to make sense of it. Just... my love for him feels strong. Strong and good. Just as strong as the others but also stronger. He makes me really happy and I love him. His presence is also very comfy and sweet, very caring and loving, a bit more protective than the others with a tiny bit of possessiveness too. But not really any jealousy. Just... a bit of concern when I regress and the protectiveness goes up even more.
There's this really weird thing that happens when I'm with Asahina that's never really happened before and the other members of my system didn't even know could happen. The thing is that, apparently Asahina can block everybody else off and have me just focus on him but it only happens when I'm regressed. It's really, really, weird but I don't hate it. It's really new and I didn't even know that could happen!
Besides all of that, I've found ways to hang out with both Ilar and Asahina but not Andrew. Granted though, Andrew is always working, going back and forth from the headspace I made for him to come to and his world. He does keep watch over me with the others a lot though. He's actually peeking over my shoulder right now. XS
Asahina's here too, we're cuddling.
When I wanna do things with Ilar, we play solo tabletop roleplay games when we feel like it and he's the GM while I play. We were playing one then took a break. It's called Iron Valley and it's a harvest moon-esque version of Iron...Ironsworn.
When I'm with Asahina, we cuddle and he watches me play games. I get to sit in his lap and relax against him. I showed him Final Fantasy 14 today! He even played a little. He liked it! Even though I was kinna having a crisis trying to figure out if I wanted to stay a Miqo'te or not. I eventually decided to just stay as one. He picked a Hrothgar because he says the other races aren't androgynous enough for his tastes. Which is silly cause the Hroths are kinna bulky anthro guys but... if that's how he feels I'm not gonna argue. He made him look REALLY cool!
I even got him to make a My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic pony! Which is awessommeee! I even got him to watch the show with me. We're watching it right now! It's really relaxing.
But uhh, I think I started rambling halfway through so I hope it makes sense. Anyway, I love all of my partners. I'm so glad they're here and love me back. I'm still not sure why Asahina's feels stronger though but... maybe it just does and doesn't need to be explained. Who knows. I like it so I'm not gonna complain. But, it'll make me wonder for a while...like... until tomorrow. XD
