![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
So... what IS this exactly?
Oct. 27th, 2024 07:20 pmToday I realized, that maybe I have another Hearthome in Final Fantasy 14: A Realm Reborn. But also, I'm kinna not sure if that's true or not.
The reason I'm not sure is cause a Hearthome is a place you feel connected to and I kinna don't really know if I feel connected to Etheirys or not.
I never really thought about it being a possibility until now because I just... can ignore the feeling as long as I'm not engaged in it in any way. Hell, looking at everybody's stuff on the Tumblrs I follow don't even really make me miss that world, it just makes me sad because their gposes look cool and their stories are awesome and they're doing way more than me and it feels like when I write something for that world nobody actually FUCKING CARES because I'm not as organized as they are.
I can't gpose cause I can't play the game on my computer so I'm never using mods like ever. I don't write anything for it cause I unno what to write and don't really feel like it and then when I try and think about it, it feels like there's no point cause nobody cares about my characters anyway then I just get pissed off and never try anything with that game world and setting anymore. Even when I kinna miss a few of the characters there. Everything is always just in my head never being written.
So... what IS this then?
When I see people make amvs with songs about their Warriors of Light it makes me miss the game like crazy. I wanna go back as soon as possible but I can't. Then it makes me really sad and miss it more and kinna frustrated.
When I see SOME people play the game and I can't, it slowly starts to piss me off too because "Dammit I wish I could be playing too!"
And then there's this weird... involuntary anger when a random streamer that's a big name, even if they aren't mean starts playing FF14 cause my brain immediately goes, "YOU DON'T BELONG THERE!" It's mean and silly I know but I can't help it. It goes away after a bit though. But it feels like they're invading my home...
I was thinking maybe it could be a heartlink but I don't even know if THAT'S true. But now that I think about it... maybe it kinna is since when I play I'm always a Lalafell and being a Lalafell just feels right and comfortable. I'm either a Miqo'te, an Au Ra, or a Lala and even then if it's not an OC, I just jump back into being a Lala because I miss being one if I don't play for long.
Even though the community kinna... sucks when you're a Lala. SOME of the community, not ALL of it. You see, there are people who don't like Lalafells because they look "childlike" and yet the game treats them as adults. They're literally just little people. There's nothing childlike about them. Yet people make a big stink about it and it pisses every single Lala player off and people who aren't fucking stupid about it.
It's even MORE annoying when people blame Lalas for some kinna "trauma" and yet they're STILL playing the game anyway. *eye roll*
Anyway... I really don't know what Etheirys is to me. Is it a hearthome? Is it a heartlink? I unno. Are these feelins even normal when it comes to having a hearthome? I never really thought about it cause it doesn't feel like I BELONG there but it does feel like another home to me.
So, maybe it IS some kinna hearthome. I wonder if I should heartlink with the Lalas there... hmm...
I also wonder if you can have a hearthome within a hearthome but I think me liking the Azim Steppe is more my love of tribal stuff for some odd reason that I still haven't figured out yet. I do wonder why though...
The reason I'm not sure is cause a Hearthome is a place you feel connected to and I kinna don't really know if I feel connected to Etheirys or not.
I never really thought about it being a possibility until now because I just... can ignore the feeling as long as I'm not engaged in it in any way. Hell, looking at everybody's stuff on the Tumblrs I follow don't even really make me miss that world, it just makes me sad because their gposes look cool and their stories are awesome and they're doing way more than me and it feels like when I write something for that world nobody actually FUCKING CARES because I'm not as organized as they are.
I can't gpose cause I can't play the game on my computer so I'm never using mods like ever. I don't write anything for it cause I unno what to write and don't really feel like it and then when I try and think about it, it feels like there's no point cause nobody cares about my characters anyway then I just get pissed off and never try anything with that game world and setting anymore. Even when I kinna miss a few of the characters there. Everything is always just in my head never being written.
So... what IS this then?
When I see people make amvs with songs about their Warriors of Light it makes me miss the game like crazy. I wanna go back as soon as possible but I can't. Then it makes me really sad and miss it more and kinna frustrated.
When I see SOME people play the game and I can't, it slowly starts to piss me off too because "Dammit I wish I could be playing too!"
And then there's this weird... involuntary anger when a random streamer that's a big name, even if they aren't mean starts playing FF14 cause my brain immediately goes, "YOU DON'T BELONG THERE!" It's mean and silly I know but I can't help it. It goes away after a bit though. But it feels like they're invading my home...
I was thinking maybe it could be a heartlink but I don't even know if THAT'S true. But now that I think about it... maybe it kinna is since when I play I'm always a Lalafell and being a Lalafell just feels right and comfortable. I'm either a Miqo'te, an Au Ra, or a Lala and even then if it's not an OC, I just jump back into being a Lala because I miss being one if I don't play for long.
Even though the community kinna... sucks when you're a Lala. SOME of the community, not ALL of it. You see, there are people who don't like Lalafells because they look "childlike" and yet the game treats them as adults. They're literally just little people. There's nothing childlike about them. Yet people make a big stink about it and it pisses every single Lala player off and people who aren't fucking stupid about it.
It's even MORE annoying when people blame Lalas for some kinna "trauma" and yet they're STILL playing the game anyway. *eye roll*
Anyway... I really don't know what Etheirys is to me. Is it a hearthome? Is it a heartlink? I unno. Are these feelins even normal when it comes to having a hearthome? I never really thought about it cause it doesn't feel like I BELONG there but it does feel like another home to me.
So, maybe it IS some kinna hearthome. I wonder if I should heartlink with the Lalas there... hmm...
I also wonder if you can have a hearthome within a hearthome but I think me liking the Azim Steppe is more my love of tribal stuff for some odd reason that I still haven't figured out yet. I do wonder why though...
