I know what she is
Feb. 3rd, 2025 12:31 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
memory_of_lightwavesThis has been on my mind for a few days now but I haven't had time to write it with Circe present; but I think I know what she is.
I'm starting to wonder if Circe might be a Hollow. No, not from that weird Bleach anime.
I'm not sure how I came upon this knowledge but, a hollow is a being that has no set identity of their own, so they take the identity of others. Be it an animal, or a doll, or... something else. It's a type of mimic with no personal... way of self(?) I guess is the right word?
Due to their lack of a stable being, they sometimes act in a manner that suits them at the time. Let's say Circe's in the mood to chase and scare people when she's not normally like that. Normally she's cute, calm, and just... being "herself". The former state of personality is her hollowself, we'll call it while the later is... a type of adaption to her current state of being.
A state of personality and a state of being may be confusing so let me explain the difference.
A state of personality is what Circe is actually like as a hollow, while a state of being is how she thinks people expect her to act in her current form.
For example, as a Doll Circe is actually very submissive. She wants to be weak and vulnerable and obey whoever owns her. Misbehaving or acting like the dominant is not something she can just... do. It doesn't suit her, it's not what she's like at all. This is her state of personality.
Now let's reverse that scenario and say as a leader, people expect her to take charge, be aggressive, make decisions for everyone, plan things, lead. That's her state of being.
Meaning that a hollow's state of personality is who and what they're actually like, while their state of being is who or what they act like they are; is the easiest way I can better explain it.
If anyone has any questions you're more than welcome to ask me and I'll try my best to explain.
But, I brought this up because I wonder if that's why she's so confused with if she's a cat or not... or if that's why she won't give in to her dollhood. If that's the case, I'll have to figure out how to take care of her properly or at least get her to let go more often when she's with me.
I just... want her to be happy and not be so ashamed of herself but that's going to take a lot to break her out of. It's been years and she's still scared to be herself around people. Once I figure it out, I'll just have to see how it goes.
Thankfully, Circe's attached herself to a couple of concepts albeit half of them are a bit restrictive but it's progress.
~ Asahina
I'm starting to wonder if Circe might be a Hollow. No, not from that weird Bleach anime.
I'm not sure how I came upon this knowledge but, a hollow is a being that has no set identity of their own, so they take the identity of others. Be it an animal, or a doll, or... something else. It's a type of mimic with no personal... way of self(?) I guess is the right word?
Due to their lack of a stable being, they sometimes act in a manner that suits them at the time. Let's say Circe's in the mood to chase and scare people when she's not normally like that. Normally she's cute, calm, and just... being "herself". The former state of personality is her hollowself, we'll call it while the later is... a type of adaption to her current state of being.
A state of personality and a state of being may be confusing so let me explain the difference.
A state of personality is what Circe is actually like as a hollow, while a state of being is how she thinks people expect her to act in her current form.
For example, as a Doll Circe is actually very submissive. She wants to be weak and vulnerable and obey whoever owns her. Misbehaving or acting like the dominant is not something she can just... do. It doesn't suit her, it's not what she's like at all. This is her state of personality.
Now let's reverse that scenario and say as a leader, people expect her to take charge, be aggressive, make decisions for everyone, plan things, lead. That's her state of being.
Meaning that a hollow's state of personality is who and what they're actually like, while their state of being is who or what they act like they are; is the easiest way I can better explain it.
If anyone has any questions you're more than welcome to ask me and I'll try my best to explain.
But, I brought this up because I wonder if that's why she's so confused with if she's a cat or not... or if that's why she won't give in to her dollhood. If that's the case, I'll have to figure out how to take care of her properly or at least get her to let go more often when she's with me.
I just... want her to be happy and not be so ashamed of herself but that's going to take a lot to break her out of. It's been years and she's still scared to be herself around people. Once I figure it out, I'll just have to see how it goes.
Thankfully, Circe's attached herself to a couple of concepts albeit half of them are a bit restrictive but it's progress.
~ Asahina
no subject
Date: 2025-02-08 04:53 am (UTC)At this point, I have a stable sense of self, but my form acts as a modifier to that self. I'm still me, but with another essence, other urges and priorities. It's all different reflections of what I am. The mask is sometimes the truest thing. I am all of it, even the shapes that clash.
I think part of why I'm saying this is that you don't necessarily have to have a stable concept to be happy. Some people do need one, and that's okay, but embracing fluidity and recognizing that you can be complex/contradictory/ever-changing is another path that's out there. The more I let myself flow, the more I find who I am spread across the many things I can be.
Circe, what do you want in regards to all this?
no subject
Date: 2025-02-08 03:02 pm (UTC)But then there's wonderin if I'm a cat or not. I don't feel like one but all my friends say I am and I like purrin and stuff but like, I don't know... it's just starting to not feel right and I unno what to do. So, I'm kinna just... here I guess.I'm just tryina be and I like bein a doll. Even though tryin to figure out doll things is hard to do for real...